Thursday, December 5, 2013

The Baby Veronica Saga: Denial of a Father's Rights and Now a $1 Million Lesson

Co-authored by Bruce Boyer
The last time most of us heard about the heart-breaking Baby Veronica case was several weeks ago, when the child's Native American father gave up his years-long legal battle to retain custody of her, and her adoptive parents promised to maintain ties to her biological family.
Major Indian and child welfare organizations -- including the Donaldson Adoption Institute -- overwhelmingly decried the outcome as an unjust denial of a father's right to raise his own child. Many television pundits and some adoption advocates, meanwhile, declared that a sad saga had ended happily because Veronica would now grow up in a loving family.
Alas, it's hard to fathom how anyone can describe what has occurred -- and is still occurring -- in this case as "happy." Furthermore, the saga has not ended at all, and proceeding as though it has would deprive us of the opportunity to learn its many important lessons: about the critical right of fathers (and mothers) to parent the children they create, about the corrosive effects of money on the adoption system, and about thesordid chapter in U.S. history when Native American children were systematically removed from their communities and placed for adoption.
First a quick recap: Veronica's mother, Christy Maldonado, placed her newborn for adoption with a South Carolina couple, Matt and Melanie Capobianco, in September 2009. Dusten Brown, the child's father, was preparing to deploy to Iraq with the Army at the time; he subsequently said he was deceived into signing relinquishment papers and sued to gain custody of Veronica, which he succeeded in doing in December 2011. On appeal, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in July 2013 in favor of the Capobiancos, and Veronica moved back in with them two months ago.

That brings us to last week, when the Capobiancos' pro bono attorneys asked a court to order Brown and the Cherokee Nation to pay them $1 million in fees. It's hard to describe this late-stage maneuver -- against a nearly destitute father and the tribe that supported his effort to raise his own daughter -- as anything except punitive. And it's even harder to reconcile the request with the cooperative transition to an open adoption that the Capobiancos had promised.
This latest chapter in a young child's heart-rending saga does offer an opportunity, however, to step back from the details of the custody battle and consider its many important lessons. They notably include the role that money has played throughout this case, which has been replete with ethically dubious actions by the parties who, in the end, prevailed over Brown and his supporters. Here are several examples:
• The South Carolina director of Nightlight Christian Adoptions, which handled Veronica's adoption, arranged for her own husband -- who is an adoption attorney -- to represent the Capobiancos. While not explicitly prohibited in South Carolina, such arrangements are viewed as a serious ethical problem in other jurisdictions. The concern is that, in such a situation, it could appear that an attorney had loyalties other than to his/her ostensible clients; in addition, even if the clients had issues with this conflict of interest, they might not risk complaining out of fear that the agency would put their adoption at risk.
• The Capobiancos arranged and paid for Maldonado's attorney. As a result, there was the prospect -- or at least the appearance -- of divided loyalties, since the Capobiancos were paying the bills. Though permitted by South Carolina's lax adoption laws, this is also a practice that has been widely derided as unethical. The American Bar Association in 1987 concluded that the conflicts of interest inherent in such "dual representation" cannot be reconciled because the interests of birth and adoptive parents are so distinct.
• According to several media outlets, the Capobiancos were quite generous to Maldonado during and after her pregnancy. While states generally permit some payment of living expenses for women contemplating adoption for their babies, most set limits as a way of curtailing potential economic inducements for mothers to feel pressured or, worse, to effectively sell their children. While no details have been disclosed about payments to Maldonado, for context, it is known that two judges who reportedly have approved unorthodox payments -- such as television sets and breast augmentation surgery -- were recently called to testify before a grand jury in Oklahoma (where Veronica was born).
• During her pregnancy, Maldonado cut off all contact with Brown, which prevented him from asserting his right to parent his child. Under South Carolina law, an unmarried father can only contest an adoption he has lived with the mother or has paid significant prenatal expenses. On the advice of her counsel (reminder: paid for by the Capobiancos), Maldonado closed both of these doors by ending contact, even directing hospital staff to pretend she had never been admitted if Brown called. Notably, through the entire case, he was never found unfit. Rather, the final South Carolina court decision -- after a remand from the U.S. Supreme Court -- said he not only had no right to object to the adoption, but also did not even have a right to a hearing to determine the best interests of his daughter.
• Moving out Veronica out of Oklahoma after her birth presented another obstacle because of her Native American heritage, which Maldonado disclosed at the outset to Nightlight and the Capobiancos. The adoptive parents were legally required to secure Oklahoma's permission to move the child to another state, under a federal law known as the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC). They were also required to alert her tribe prior to relocation under the federal Indian Child Welfare Act. The problem for the Capobiancos, Nightlight, Maldonado and their lawyers was that if they followed legal requirements and alerted the Cherokee Nation, the tribe was almost certain to block the child's removal from Oklahoma and prevent the adoption request from even being filed.
The child's Indian heritage was not revealed, however, until it was too late to matter. In the initial inquiry to the tribe prior to the child's birth, Maldonado's lawyer misspelled Brown's name and gave an incorrect birthdate, preventing the tribal connection from being made. This misrepresentation was compounded after Veronica's birth, when Maldonado incorrectly listed her as Hispanic on the forms necessary for ICPC approval. Maldonado later testified that she accurately disclosed her daughter's heritage with everyone involved at the outset, including the lawyer hired for her by the Capobiancos and Nightlight's Director (who, recall, was married to their attorney). Maldonado's testimony raises serious concerns about what everyone involved in supporting the adoption knew and when they knew it. In any event, the result was that the Cherokee Tribe was left unaware, and thus unable to stop the adoption from going forward.
And what of the $1 million request for attorneys' fees? To be sure, the fact that the Capobiancos' lawyers initially agree to work pro bono should not prevent them from now seeking payment for their services. Nevertheless, the request has to be viewed in the context of the sordid events that preceded it. Nightlight, the Capobiancos, Maldonado and their lawyers appear to have orchestrated a series of events that resulted in separating an infant child from a fit father who wanted nothing more than to raise his own daughter, and who did so for almost two years until an extraordinary series of legal decisions took his child away. Seen from this perspective, the request could easily be interpreted as a resounding message to any young parent who thinks to stand up to powerful industry that is too often fueled by a profit motive.
If adoption is to be a humane, thoughtful and ethical process, everyone's rights must be protected from deceptive or predatory practices, and that means mothers and fathers -- pointedly including Brown -- should never be deprived of their children simply because they were legally out-maneuvered. It also means that a law designed to protect Native American culture should not be skirted or subverted to expedite any single adoption. And it means that statutory and regulatory action simply has to be taken to minimize the corrupting influence of money in a system that is meant to serve the interests of vulnerable children and adults.
*Bruce Boyer is Director of the Civitas ChildLaw Clinic at Loyola University in Chicago

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

TED Talk: Lemn Sissay: A Child of the State



Former English foster child on his experience with his foster family and in care. 15 minutes.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

International adoptions: Kids older, have special needs

Sharon Jayson, USA TODAY

A new report says the climate has changed for international adoptions. Would-be parents need to be educated about kids who are older and likely have special needs to avoid "adoption dissolution."


Because a growing number of international adoptions involve kids who are older and have special needs, adoptive parents today need more support to avoid the kind of regret that can lead to abandonment, says a New York City think tank in a new report.

"The adoption world is changing and there are more and more kids entering adoption from difficult circumstances," says Adam Pertman, executive director of the Donaldson Adoption Institute. He is co-author of the institute's report, released Wednesday.

It notes that many countries are restricting international adoptions; recent news reports have pointed out cases of internationally adopted children in the USA being given away to strangers, or adoptive parents seeking to "return" adopted children to their home country after problems surfaced. Russia, for example, has closed doors to U.S. adoptions.

The report includes a survey of 1,034 parents who adopted internationally since 1983; 47% had a child with special needs. Pertman says that figure doesn't tell the whole story; many earlier adoptions were of younger and healthier kids, which he says skew the numbers.

"The more recent adopters are increasingly adopting children with special needs. That is the growing population," he says. "Very often, they learn about the special needs once they get back to this country or it develops later. Going into international adoption, the odds are pretty high you will be parenting a child with special needs."

Chuck Johnson, president of the National Council for Adoption, a non-profit adoption advocacy agency based in Alexandria, Va., agrees.

"They are getting older and that probably means they've been in the institutional system longer, which will increase their chances of special needs," he says. About60% of recent adoptions from China are of kids with special needs, he adds.

The latest data from the U.S. State Department documents a rising number of older kids in international adoptions. Of the 8,668 total adoptions from all countries last year, just 10% were under age 1; 58% were ages 1 to 4. Almost a quarter (24%) were ages 5 to 12.

International adoptions have steeply declined from a peak of 23,000 into the USA in 2004. The adoption institute says costs also have risen; the cost of an international adoption sometimes exceeds $50,000.

Johnson says despite attention to adoptions gone wrong — termed "adoption dissolution" — he says those make up a very small number and most adoptions do work out.

"People are losing sight of the more successful adoptions," he says. "Even among families adopting those who are older and of the special needs population, families and children will end up doing really well.

"We have got to make sure families who are adopting these children are educated on the front end and go into the process with their eyes wide open and they know the promise and the risks of intercountry adoption."

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Children in Families First!!


Call to Action!
Here’s how you can get involved:

 LEARN - Visit the website, you’ll find;
• CONTACT YOUR MEMBER OF CONGRESS
  • Call your Member of Congress (script provided)
  • Email your Member of Congress (template provided)
  • Connect with your Member of Congress on Social Media
  • Visit your Member of Congress (script provided)
• DISTRIBUTE –Forward this Call To Action to your friends and family. Get it out to everyone you know.

• BE A PART OF THE COMMUNITY
  • “Like” CHIFF on Facebook and share to help get the word out!
  • Connect with Us on Twitter!

JC logo

We are very pleased and excited to announce that Senator Mary Landrieu and 13 other Members of Congress have introduced the Children in Families First Act of 2013 (CHIFF) into the Senate (introduction into the House is expected in a few weeks).

CHIFF is built on the idea that American law should reflect the human truth that children need families. Around the world, millions of children are growing up without parental care, in institutions or worse. CHIFF will realign U.S. foreign assistance to prioritize children growing up in families; focus on protecting children by preserving, reunifying or creating families through kinship, domestic and international adoption; and strengthen procedures to prevent abuse of children without families, all without increasing spending. CHIFF makes our government smarter, not bigger, by redirecting resources that are currently not being well used.

Please support this historic and game-changing legislation – actively, aggressively and urgently.

Best Wishes,
Tom DiFilipo

P.S. Please be on the lookout for more info and actions in the coming days, weeks and months.

  Joint Council on International Children's Services
117 S. St. Asaph Street
Alexandria, VA 22314

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

12 Hours to a Birthmother

A Girl Was Reunited With Her Birth Mother After Only 12 Hours Of Searching On Facebook

Hooray internet!posted on 

Whitney wrote that 12 hours later she was on the phone with a Jennifer Moorhead and asked her if she ever put a daughter up for adoption.


I posted the picture that I was asking people to share around 9pm on Wednesday. I knew I probably shouldn’t get my hopes up, but I just couldn’t help refreshing my page to see how many shares I was getting, or if any emails were coming through yet. I never imagined that picture would be shared over 3,600 times! I recieved a message on facebook from a lady in Florida that said she had a list of possible phone numbers for a woman that had the same name as my mom. At 7:59 on Thursday morning, I called the first number on the list she had given me. It worked! The very first phone number she had given me was the correct number! When someone answered the phone, I asked if Jennifer was there. When she said it was her, I told her I know it probably sounds crazy, but asked if she had placed a baby up for adoption in 1991.

And well, the rest came together beautifully:

And well, the rest came together beautifully:

Not only did Whitney get to meet her biological mom…

Not only did Whitney get to meet her biological mom...

…Whitney’s daughter Rylan got to meet her biological grandma and great aunt.

...Whitney's daughter Rylan got to meet her biological grandma and great aunt.

Whitney told local reporters she was shocked at how much she had in common with her mom.

Whitney told local reporters she was shocked at how much she had in common with her mom.

Even though the meeting didn’t last long, the two families have decided to stay in contact.

Even though the meeting didn't last long, the two families have decided to stay in contact.

Whitney’s adoptive mother Theresa Brock says she understands why Whitney went searching for her biological mom because it’s something she’s always been curious about.

Whitney's adoptive mother Theresa Brock says she understands why Whitney went searching for her biological mom because it's something she's always been curious about.

Call for Survey Participants

Good afternoon. The Adoption Institute needs your help on an unprecedented study, and it will only take 15-20 minutes of your time. Here’s the scoop: The Internet and social media are forever changing adoption – and our lives – yet we know little about their impact on the millions of people who are affected. So the Institute is launching a new study seeking relevant information from adopted persons, adoptive parents, birth/first parents and adoption professionals. Please complete a privatesurvey if you fit into any of those descriptions – and, whether you do or not, spread the word to colleagues and friends, through email blasts and news stories, on Facebook and Twitter, in newsletters and blogs, and any other way you can think of. We are charting new territory in an effort to shape thoughtful, humane and ethical laws, policies and practices – and your input will help us do it. It’s quick, it’s easy and it’s important; just click here. This research follows up on the Institute’s 2012 report, Untangling the Web.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Just Holding on Through the Curves

Just Holding on Through the Curves


My daughter just turned 30. How is this possible when it seemed like only a week before she was a scrappy, sassy teenager? Like mothers everywhere, I don’t think I’m old enough to have delivered a baby girl who could hit such a milestone.
In my case, it’s true: I’m only 41. I didn’t give birth to my daughter. I became her mother when I was 28 and she was 17. Call it an unplanned delivery, very late term. Christina was one of the 135,000-plus teenagers nationwide in foster care, most of whom are abandoned when they age out of the system between 18 and 21.
I was lucky enough to snare one of these gems, to share my life with the smartest, most beautiful, resourceful and hilarious kid around.
Want proof? I have pictures. But be careful what you ask for: like mothers everywhere, I’m insufferable that way.
I say I’m lucky because I didn’t plan for this life. Back when everything happened, Christina was just my favorite student in the high school English class I was teaching. When her agency made her change schools, we stayed in touch.
There was something both fierce and vulnerable about Christina, and I liked being with her. She is also deeply intelligent, and I wanted to ensure that no matter how the world tossed her around, at least one of her teachers had shown her that she mattered.
I also wanted to keep an eye on her safety. Christina is transgender, which meant there were fewer beds available to her within the system and fewer protections over all.
Sure enough, at her new school, disaster struck: After a security guard told some of her fellow students she had been born male, they threatened to kill her, so she fled. I was the first person she called, and my then-partner and I offered to let her sleep on our couch until we could sort things out with the agency. Anyone with a conscience would have done the same.
What I didn’t understand at the time was how profoundly child welfare can fail its teenagers. I didn’t know that fully half of all the teenagers in foster care are institutionalized in group homes or more serious lockdown facilities because families don’t want them.
I didn’t know that, by age 19, 30 percent of the boys will have been incarcerated. I didn’t know, as Christina’s first night bled into a second and a third and as we went to Home Depot to buy containers for her clothes and cleared her a shelf in the bathroom, that 30 percent of the homeless in this country were once in foster care.
Most of us can’t survive our first jobs, first apartments, first loves or first big mistakes without family to fall back on. We need money, love, advice and encouragement well past our 18th birthdays — especially if we celebrated that birthday in an institution with state-financed guardians working eight-hour shifts.
What I did know, as I tucked sheets into Christina’s makeshift bed those first few nights, was that I had a hurt and angry child on my hands who was frightened of being rejected one more time. And I knew that child because I had been one, too.
When I was 14, I left my mother’s house and never saw her again. I moved to my father’s house 30 miles away. My mother didn’t reach out or call, and I was too afraid to reach back to the woman who didn’t want me.
When I graduated from college, I sent my mother a letter, and she sent me a note on a paper scrap, wishing me a good life and misspelling my name. Later I recognized the signs of mental illness in her; I recognized it in the men she brought around, in the nights she didn’t come home, in the way she’d drift into corners and lose herself all day.
But I didn’t know to call it that when I was a child. Mostly I scuttled about like a dog on ice trying to make her better. Mostly I thought my mother’s rejection was my fault. And when I couldn’t take it anymore, I left.
When Christina moved in, I wasn’t blind to the symmetry. I saw how in helping her I could repair some of my own story; I could be the mother that my mother never was. But just as Christina was settling into a kind of routine in our little one-bedroom apartment, her agency called to say she couldn’t stay.
We already had enrolled her in a new public school and were working on her résumé so she could get a job. We were redistributing household chores. But we weren’t licensed foster parents, so they had found her space in a group home for teenage sex offenders.
Christina had never committed such a crime and was understandably terrified. It would be only for a while, they promised, until they could find something better.
The thing is, I was the “something better.” I had already been found, and Christina was safe with me. I wasn’t going to let a broken system break down a child I loved. I hadn’t planned on being a mother to a teenager at 28, but I discovered if you threaten an injured cub in my den, I could become a mother right quick.
Together we fought back, and after some heated phone calls and hasty arrangements, she ended up with us. But that isn’t the triumphal part of the story. The triumph is the past 13 years.
BEING A PARENT to a teenager can be like driving a racecar on a slick track with no brakes. The radio blares Spanish rap and the kid in the passenger seat hurls catcalls at passing drivers and then ducks, or threatens to hurl herself out the door if she’s angry with you. Oh, wait — maybe that’s just my teenager.
Anyway, I learned that with my teenager you just have to hold on through the curves. I didn’t learn to be a great mother the way I had planned, but I did learn that no “bad” behavior by her would ever warrant the ultimate rejection. I learned there’s not one child worth discarding — not the tens of thousands of children in group homes, not Christina, not even me.
That last part was Christina’s gift. The bonus was realizing that the teenage thing passes. And then you get the glorious young adult who suddenly, miraculously, loves you back.
My experience of Christina’s childhood was extraordinarily compressed. I didn’t get the diapers or teething or first haircuts. But I did get her first steps. There was the time she started meeting her curfew because she “didn’t want to worry” me, even though she had never kept a curfew before. (Nobody had cared before.)
My ex and I used to wake her up with Dolly Parton’s song “Little Sparrow,” which she claimed to hate, because it was the only thing that got her out of bed. When she turned 19, she got a sparrow tattoo as a tribute.
And finally there was the letter, a few years back, in which she thanked me for saving her life. She had saved her own life, I told her, but it takes depth of soul to feel such gratitude.
Besides, I’m the one who’s grateful. I wish more people would want to foster teenagers (although they, like me, may not consider it until one lands in their lap). Unlike the littler children, teenagers often recognize that their frustrations and sorrows are born of the system and their families of origin, rather than you.
They can say, as Christina often did when she was in a rage: “I don’t know why I’m even acting this way. It’s probably from the abuse in one of my homes.”
And I could say: “I don’t know what to do with you. I have no experience.”
And we both could then shrug at our respective confusion and order a pizza to eat together on the couch.
The triumph in the story isn’t that we celebrated Christina’s 18th and 19th and 25th birthdays and that she never even came close to becoming one of those sad foster-care statistics. The triumph is that we celebrated them together. And Christina’s family has grown: She has made inroads with her biological relatives and kept my ex as her other mother; last summer Christina was a part of her wedding.
My current partner and I recently traveled to see Christina for her birthday and to mark the moment over Korean barbecue the way we always do. Our messy family looks like a lot of messy families, but at the core, we stay close because we choose to. Christina taught me that a lasting family isn’t something that happens, it’s something you choose year after year.
Which means we actually like spending birthdays together. Even if 30 does sound awfully old.
It’s O.K. I’m still a very young mother.
If you are a motion animator or illustrator and would like to create a video for the Modern Love animated monthly series, please e-mail your sample reel and contact information to animatemodernlove@nytimes.com.
Cris Beam, who lives in New York, is the author of “To the End of June: The Intimate Life of American Foster Care.”